It is practically inevitable to talk of or even think about the Father’s Heart without thinking – L.o.v.e.
“What do you want?”
Has God ever asked you a simple question like, “what do you want?” And you stated it thinking that it was clearly and precisely answered, but at the end of the season’s lesson with Him, you get to see a perfect picture of the Heart of a loving Father who patiently and lovingly deals with a stiff-necked people, with a people who don’t even know what they want when they think they do, who can’t accurately articulate what they want, who have forgotten what they want, yet in all these, He still helps us find it?
God’s unquestionably solid and unchanging character draws me into falling even deeper and anew in love with Him with ev’ry passing second, helplessly so.
We all know our God to be: merciful, patient, forgiving, compassionate, faithful, loving and guuuuwwd.
And a certain ruler asked him saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? And Jesus said unto him, why callest thou me good? None is good, save one, that is, God.
The magnitude of Christ’s meekness struck me, the first time the scriptures above sank in me.
Well, Integration and The Heart of the Father forms the basis upon which I am inspired to write today.
When we say that someone is integrated, it means that what he thinks, says and does at any one given moment within himself is in one harmonious accord.
This is one of those realities about God’s character that my finite mind is yet to completely grasp. Everything about God sends me to an ‘automatic awestruck mode’, but this particular one? When I translate this concept from the human understanding and practice of the word, I helplessly get awestruck. Every time I ponder about this word – integrated and how it perfectly gels with the description of God, it becomes a vicious cycle of getting awestruck over and again, the latter magnitude even greater than the former.
And this is why. Is it always all times that when you talk to someone and deeply study their eyes, their vocal tone, their body movements, their subtle facial expressions, their gestures and even their silences that you get to see an integration of their words with what you observe? Is there a consistency now as it will be four years from now or as it was three years back?
Honestly, this is one of those qualities of God that blows my mind off.
The Father’s Heart
Recently – to be precise, last month, I undertook a 21-day prayer and fast marathon – a program in which I wanted this: financial equation, career, vision thing to be sorted out once and for all.
And several times as I was praying, He could ask me in simple words, “what do you want?” And I could answer. Another time I would be praying and the question would arise again, “what do you want?” And as I began to answer, He would cut me short, “you, what do you want?” And I would give an answer related to a certain type of a job. Well, this is not funny. I never ever got to answer that question correctly despite having heard it close to four or five times.
So one evening, a few days immediately after I had just completed my 21-day prayer program, a friend gives me a call, invites me to her business premise for a hook up and just basically to chat. We catch up on life issues then I wait for her to close down, after which she decides to give me an escort. As we’re walking along the road and chatting, she turns to me and asks, “what do you want?” I begin to give a narrative and as I put a but in it, she deliberately cuts me short and asks again, “you, what do you want?” I instantaneously had to slow down as I was hit by the fact that this was a God-moment, and that He was giving me another chance to answer this question correctly. What a brain shake-up!! How on earth could she be able to ask me the exact same question, in the exact similar manner as I had earlier been asked so many times before while praying?
Guess what!? God used her to help me remember the vision that to me was given 3 years ago, and which is exactly what I wanted but which I couldn’t clearly articulate. Sometimes it takes longer than we anticipated, which drives us to think that God’s not in it anymore, that He forgot about it, or maybe we just didn’t get it right.
The reality? He never trashes a single covenant. The truth is that I was slowly losing track of this covenant I had with Yahweh 3 years ago, and the vision He planted in my heart then was quickly slipping through my fingers. The plain truth is I needed a quick fix, as quick as possible. Yes, I needed a job, or so I thought. It would answer all my queries. It would sort out this unhilariously mysterious puzzle once and for all. And well, the reality is that He doesn’t operate that way. He is not a God of ‘Quick Fixes’, but one who in His perfect time, offers a lasting solution, fully anchored in Him.
My lesson? Be alert to the move of God. God will use anyone to reach out to you. And I mean, literally, anybody.
My other lesson? Walk in divine timing. Neither be left behind by Him nor go waaay ahead of God. I practically can relate to the not so pleasant effects of the latter.
What a Terrible God! And what an Integrated God! I still stand in awe of this ‘oneness’ within Himself at any one given moment. He doesn’t think one thing and say a different thing in relation to His thoughts. He doesn’t say one thing yet do a contrary thing in relation to His words. He doesn’t do one thing yet mean a different thing in relation to His deeds. And what He thought, said and did: more than 2,000 years, 7 years, 1 year and 8 months or even 2 weeks ago would never ever contradict itself with what He thinks right now, says right now or even does right now.
My heart has seen a perfect picture of a gracious Christ who intervenes in prayer for us even when we don’t know how to package our words. It has tasted of the love of a Father who doesn’t force His choices down our throats willy-nilly. When we give Him a chance, He equally gives us a chance and asks us, “what do you want?” Surely, a perfect Father must perfectly know what His child wants. I have seen a Father who in His perfect ways gives us a platform to choose, yet even in choosing, when we: don’t know, can’t clearly articulate or simply forget what we want, He helps us to accurately define it, and just doesn’t stop there. He helps us find it!
And you know what else? I have seen a picture of a Father who doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve. Who as far as the East is from the West, such far has He removed our transgressions. I have seen the true heart of a compassionate Father. I have personally known a God who provides mysteriously.
He is in control. If He allowed you there and put you there, He’ll sustain you right there and make a way such as the human eye cannot figure out right now. Stop fighting!
When it has been close to two years of making applications and you’re rarely called for an interview and whenever you’re called for one, you’re never taken then you wonder if you were overqualified. Still, that doesn’t damn change His heart and plans for you.
When it’s close to two years since you wanted to ‘fly’ with that business and you had a deficit yet He clearly told you not to borrow money from anyone and that He would show you how He works, then it’s time to be reminded of His name – Jehovah El-Kanna, the jealous one who shares His glory with no other. And well, yes, it’s time too to be reminded that He is an I.n.t.e.g.r.a.t.e.d God.
When you feel caged and you desperately want to run back to the comfortable and unprogressive life you knew back then, yet He deliberately blocks you, then it’s time to be reminded that He is not a backward God, but a progressive one, and that part of the progression is allowing Him to walk you thro’ the fire. Then it’s equally time to answer this question correctly, “what do you want?” Then it’s time to be broken…to bend to His will. Then it’s time to recognize that you ain’t and never will be the boss, not even of your own life, but a steward and a partner to Him.
When the vision was birthed in partnership with Him, then it’s time to acknowledge that you have no total control of the ‘how’ and the ‘when’, He does. And for you to have a glimpse or knowledge of the how and the when, then you gotta be constantly and intimately connected to Him like a cable to a power source so He reveals it to you, no other option!
So mine is to dance, in the rain just as much as in the sunshine, though this time, I am not dancing to the rhythm of the madness in me, no. I am dancing in splendor and awe to this sweet rhythm of His unquestionable and indisputable musique, responding and moving to the tempo of His beats. When He tells me jump, I simply smile and ask, how high? And in what manner? Vertically or diagonally? And when He tells me move, I stop and ask Him how fast? And towards which direction? Northwards, westwards, southwards or eastwards? Plus, in what manner? Horizontally, in a zigzag motion or spirally?
What do you see when you clearly stare at the Father’s heart?? I see L.O.V.E.
I’m not yet done!
This is the heart of the God whom we serve. I have seen a Father who loves unconditionally – who doesn’t lay down a proviso to the attainment of His love. I have seen a Father who doesn’t use the same: faulty, self-centered, wanting scales and lenses that the world uses to weigh, view and cluster us. Not even the inadequate, self-questioning, self-righteous lenses that we use to view ourselves. But one whose lenses of viewing His children is ‘like no other’ – perfectly refined.
I have seen and felt the Father’s Heart in close range. I have seen and known Authentic L.o.v.e.
Well, since this heart is: deeper than the profound depths of the ocean, higher than the ranges of the highest mountain, wider than the whole round centrifugal view of the cosmos, lower than my determinate comprehension of genuine humility and unfathomable even with the help of the most high-tech microscope and telescope, I am still on a voyage and mission of unearthing and of deeply understanding it, plus its peculiar integration. The Father’s heart.